accompaniment(s) to: With a Bang
Rating: SPN/DA Crossover - PG - Gen – AU in the year 2020
Spoilers: General (for all aired episodes)
Disclaimers: SPN & DA characters are owned by their various creators.
Summary: Sam POV. Boredom vs. X5.
The concept of a weekend was always a weird one for Sam.
Days off just simply meant there was no more work to do and there was always more work to do. Some bizarre and some just banging on the plumbing of their old house. Back in the day on the road it was always straightforward but in a town that needed his church it was a different play list all together. So when he finally had a afternoon to settle down with the Iliad (he’d been teaching himself ancient Greek for a few months now) he felt himself let out a deep sigh of relaxation and--
His brother was standing in the doorway of the cramped office with something like panic on his face.
“We have a problem.”
From the look in Dean’s eyes he knew the terror alert was at least an orange.
Sam slowly stood, letting the yellowed book on his lap tumble to the floor.
“It’s Alec,” Dean swallowed.
“He’s…. He’s …”
Sam made a shaky fist. “Dean?”
Sam followed his brother down the creaking stairs, his sense of dread rising as he was lead to the back closet behind the kitchen. The splintered door was ominously hanging ajar. Sam shouldered past Dean to see what he already knew he’d witness. He crouched down, his hand going into his hair, rubbing at his face and letting himself take a few deep breaths before turning to look back up at his brother.
“It’s all gone.” Dean sighed.
“All of it??”
“Where is he?”
Sam steadied himself on the doorframe as he got up.
The first can of Monster was sitting on the kitchen sink. A few more were tipped over on the counters leaving a fizzy nuclear green slime that made Sam‘s stomach clench. It was old stuff that no one even made anymore but a donation to the church was a donation. Sam saw a few more crushed cans laying by the screen door that lead outside.
The trail of cans ended at the porch stairs. They were scattered all over the yard though. All five cases worth.
Alec was too busy welding metal to notice the greeting. Sam squinted up at what looked like the town’s one and only twenty foot satellite dish which was now inexplicably towering over the back fence. Alec’s muppet T-shirt had been removed because of the summer sun, and now been reassigned as a makeshift doo rag on Alec’s head. Dean was grimly silent several feet behind.
His son swung around in alarm before lifting his welding mask.
“Hey!” a slightly deranged smile broke out on Alec’s face. “You won’t believe this. Maybe you might. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. I’m almost done.”
“What are you doing--”
“Do we have any extra coaxial cables around here?” Alec asked. “I need more. More. Just a few more. Do we have any more? Did I mention I need more?”
“Maybe,” Sam ventured. “In the shed?”
“Cool.” Alec nodded absently. “Cool. Cool. Cool.” He fired back up the welder in his gloved hand and started showering orange sparks up into the sky.
Dean felt the need to step in. “What did we talk about? How many times I have told you we do NOT want to piss off NATO--”
Alec ‘s welder fell to the ground and he started laughing in a James Bond villainy kind of way.
Sam and Dean exchanged an uneasy look.
“Do you know what I know?” Alec looked a little extra special crazy when it appeared as if he expected them to answer. “I know,” he pointed upwards to the clouds. “Where all the porn is.”
“Pope’s hard drive?” Dean guessed.
“No,” Alec said. “They’re keeping it …. Up there. Low orbital space stations filled with the stuff.”
“Oh boy,” Dean rubbed at his forehead. “But yeah, if I wanted to stash porn I guess that’s what I’d do.”
Alec pointed at him.” Exactly.”
“Yeah, if I was a complete banana sandwich hyped up on enough caffeine to kill a… a…”
“An anything?” Sam offered.
“What he said!“ Dean whipped the welding mask off Alec’s head and threw it hard to ping off the metal sculpture which now decorated the yard. “And further more, when you want porn you can just slum it like the rest of us slobs and use a terrible internet connection, a box of tissues, and a bottle of extra virgin oliv-”
“Good point.” Sam stopped him so he didn’t have to hear that last part. “Look, Alec…. You have to take this thing back. It’s the only way people get any communication out here.”
“Back.” Alec repeated dully.
“Yes, back? Back to where you stol- … happened upon it?"
Alec’s frantic eyes had shifted to being glazed over. Slightly sweaty and sun burnt, he suddenly yawned and kicked a dented can of Monster laying by his feet. Sam smiled a little. He knew that look well enough. It was the exact same one his brother had after he did his monthly 24 frosted doughnut binge, pixie-stix, and a pitcher of blue Kool-Aid. Alec was coming down. Crashing as it were.
“I don’t feel good.” Alec announced. “In fact, I feel terrible.”
“Well,” Sam sighed. “I’m sure the folks around here will understand once you’ve got this thing all set back up.”
“No-No, I mean I feel… I feel….”
Dean and Sam quickly stepped back while Alec began the tragic display of harfing up decade old energy drink into the dry grass.
“You wanna know what’s really messed up?” Dean pondered as they watched Alec pant on his side in the recovery position. “Now our connection won’t work.”
“Which is ironic considering that’s where all the boobs are.”
“Yeah, hey, is he choking--”
“And no TV.”
“Shit.” Sam mumbled.
“Shark week, man.”
“Cougar Town reruns.”
“Cox gets a pass.”