accompaniment(s) to: With a Bang
Rating: SPN/DA Crossover - PG - Gen – AU in the year 2020
Spoilers: General (for all aired episodes)
Disclaimers: SPN & DA characters are owned by their various creators.
Summary: Alec takes the brown acid.
Alec had the makings for a hilarious day.
When that big old truck rattled into Blue Earth, it spilt both its oil and its aromatic cargo all over the cracked church steps. It wasn’t unexpected. Sam had a saintly thing going on and he got hooked up all the time by the grateful that liked to return favors. But even better and to Alec’s delight, the booty/tithe was what some might call … Retro in Nature. AKA lots and lots of Pre-Pulse foodstuffs that would never be manufactured again.
“Look at all those expiration dates.” Alec smiled. “It’s like a lame lottery.”
Alec let his hands slide all over the decrepit merchandise. It was fascinatingly disgusting. Ten year old Dinty Moore Stew. Trash bags of withered Easter marshmallow peep-pellets. Pallets of rock stale Kraft, and other endless canned and vacu-sealed pieces of delicious garbage all stocked very carefully in their very own living room.
Sam dropped a box of pop rocks and groaned.
“Dean!” Alec tipped his head back to gulp down every single drop of re-frozen slushy nonsense coming out of the sparkly plastic tube in his fist. “I haven’t been this saturated with chemical dyes since I had a full body SuperDropMRI back at the labs.”
“What’s a SuperDropMRI?”
“It’s what you do before you go Supreme.”
“We have to start offloading this stuff fast,” Alec said. “Before it starts .. breeding or something.”
“Can ramen noodles go bad?” Dean asked.
“Depends what a ramen is made of,” Alec paused. “And what a ramen even is.”
It really had been a great morning. He had awoke to nothing but a line of birds on his windowsill spraying pure molten gold right out of their awesome beaks. Whispers of light. All that happy horseshit. The sun was flirty, the early wind was steeped with every online buzz, tweet and heckle that was sliding down from the latest cyber hack nightmare that shut down that nasty Korean space station spiraling right over the equator…
“Yesh Dean. I am right here.” Alec was really liking all the facets the sofa had to offer right now.
“You seem a little out of it.”
Out of it, out of it, what does that even mean? Alec liked how his hand made trails of light when he moved them too fast to chase the bubbles. And where did those dastardly little bubbles even come from and why were they humming the theme song from the A-Team...
"I believe," Dean cleared his throat. “You were just babbling about some Korean space ship-”
“Station. Not ship.”
“You didn’t happen to have eaten all of the Blue Ones didja?” Dean kicked at a pile of empty plastic tubes on the floor.
Blue. Red. Green. Yellow. The alarming shades of some sham candy that didn’t do the right thing by giving the fuck up. It was easy to study Dean’s determined face from the perfect upside down sprawl on the sofa. Alec sighed and rolled the sticky slurpee tubes between his fingers. The instructions said just go ahead and freeze em. It was a sad slurry in a condom. Sugar. H2O. And some gnarly hues that would have been better abused in a freaky cartoon.
“Dean, it’s very important that you tell me if I said that out loud?”
“The thing about the condom?”
“Yeah. Damn. I said that out loud too? I like kid food."
“This isn't really for kids persay,” Dean did his best not to smile. “I think Sam's source messed with them a little bit.”
"Of course it's for kids. It's got smiley faces and kittens on em."
"Look, you might be ... experiencing things.. things that might make TyeDye and Taylor Swift seem worthwhile-"
"If you think seeing the perfect equilibrium with space and time and how it corresponds to nature and hockey is seeing things then you need to-"
“They’re dosed, Alec.”
"Like with acid?"
"Yes, like with LSD acid."
Alec thoughtfully gnawed on the sweet limp plastic and faced the facts. "All right," he clapped his hands together. "If I'm gonna be tripping my balls off for the next 48 hours I better do it right."
Sam stepped in. "Fireworks and The Wizard of Oz?" he opened his arms wide. "All at once."
Alec beamed. Inside and out.
"You're really are the best dad in the world".
Dean cracked a blue tube of yesteryear. "Now Sammy can finally get one of those mugs."
Alec looked to Killer.