Mink (minkmix) wrote,

SPN Ficlet: Alert

Title: Alert
Author: Mink
Rating: PG - Gen - Humor
Spoilers: None
Disclaimers: SPN & characters are owned by their various creators.
Summary: Dean over-caffeinates.

"Stop the car."


Sam was in a half daze of what he liked to call his driving coma. It was a state he settled into automatically after being behind the wheel for anything more than half an hour. Somehow he managed to completely shut his brain down while retaining his higher functions in which to operate a vehicle safely.

Any conversation usually pulled him back out of it.

He looked around for some obvious reason for the request to pull over the car alongside a deserted two lane country black top but couldn't find one.


"I have to- I don't know-I'm going to go running."

"Excuse me?"

"Pretty sure it's a verb." Dean said impatiently, his hand already working on the door handle even though they hadn't slowed down. "You know, walking really fast?"

Sam had only ever seen his older brother run if it was away from something, not for the pure sake of it.

"You want me to stop in the middle of nowhere so you can go jogging?"

Dean fidgeted in place.

"I believe I said running."

"May I ask why?"

"That last stop?" Dean said in a strange beseeching voice that was revved up and too fast. "What the hell is wrong with a perfectly normal rest stop? It's like everything has to be like everywhere else. It's like everything has to be like some fucking big city--"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I got one of those coffees from that um, fancy place with the foamy crap and the weird crap you can put in it--"


"So I got an extra double large espresso thing with six extra power shots."

Sam's felt his eyebrows raise. He had used to get those coffee infusions back in school when he hit the exam week crunch time. It was a common joke that they should only be used for medicinal purposes or in cases of dire emergency. Just one of those shots to a normal coffee usually kept him going for about an all nighter and half the next day.

"I drank two of them." Dean added.

"When I was in the bathroom??" Sam pondered just exactly how Dean had managed that within the 4-5 minute window it had taken to use a urinal and a sink.

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stopthemotherfuckingcar!"

"Damn." Sam whistled. "Coffee just doesn't come black these days Dean."

"There were too many damn choices, I just pointed at the one I could pronounce!"

Sam felt himself start laughing but it was tempered with mild sympathy.

"So just um, stop the car." Dean ordered as he repeatedly beat his hand against his bouncing knee. "You know, before I just toss my ass out the door."


"J-Just meet me a few miles down the road."

"You wanna just push the car for a while?"


"I dunno, we could save a ton on gas--"

Sam slammed on the brakes when his brother made good on his threat and swung the car door open even though they were going at about 60 mph. Dean stumbled out before they had rolled to a halt, hitting the pavement going about just as fast.

He watched his brother haul it down the asphalt, making some pretty good time for a guy that didn't do a whole lot of endurance marathon exercise.

Glancing down at the odometer, Sam thought it might be prudent to actually clock him. Just how many units of caffeine did it take to elevate an average human being to matching or exceeding the average speeds of other land mammals?

Dean kind of counted as a land mammal.

Sam marked the mileage and hit the timer on his watch.

Why not?

For science.

Tags: favorites, gen, sam pov, spn ficlet, spn humor
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