Mink (minkmix) wrote,

DA Ficlet: Wonderboy

Cuz she totally delivered (early even!), this is for my boo...

Title: Wonderboy
Author: Mink
Rating: PG - Gen - Humor
Spoilers: General (for all aired episodes)
Disclaimers: DA & characters are owned by their various creators.
Summary: Alec has moments of the miraculous towards his fellow man.

"God DAMN IT!"

She hadn't meant to kick her bike quite that hard. Not hard enough to send it crashing into several other parked bikes that sat innocently along the wall, sending them all falling like a row of dominos clattering loudly onto the cement floor. The bustling room of messengers quieted for a moment, none of the owners of the fallen bikes eager to demand her apology.

Max glared down at her own bicycle.

It was the chain again. The God Damn chain had come loose when she was doing almost forty mph down main street and she'd swerved and took a header right into a pile of shiny black bags of disgusting garbage.

"Geezuz, " Sketchy muttered as he wandered by. "What the hell is that smell--"

"It's me okay!" Max declared to all of Jam Pony. "I smell like five day old Chinese take out ... because ... my ... bike...is...a .....--" She punctuated her discord with kicks to the unfortunate piece of equipment."....piece.. of....CRAP!"

Alec too was distracted by her sudden heinous smell and had ventured boldly towards the back of her tantrum to see what was going on.

"What's with all the hoopla?" He asked as he bit into an apple clearly not caring what her answer would be.

"Hey, is that an apple?" Sketchy asked.

Alec handed it to him. "Old chain again?" He crouched down to give it a good look.

"No, NEW chain, OLD bike." Max grabbed the apple out of Sketchy's hand mid bite. "Normal! I need a new ride, I cant--"

"Jimmy H. Christ on a popsicle stick." Normal said to his monitor whilst completely ignoring her.

Alec hopped up on the counter and peered over his shoulder. "What's the problem boss?"

"Darn thing's locked up again, lost all months roster--"

Alec tapped several keys and the computer sang out a series of beeps.

"There she is!" Normal grinned. "Two weeks of meticulous scheduling right back to daddy. Oh say, did you want the weekend off?"

"If I hafta!" Alec grinned back.

Max frowned dangerously.

"Does this thing ever work?" Cindy growled from the crowded duct taped sofa. She punched again at the remote in her hand. The break room TV was fuzzy as hell, in black and white and stuck on a Mexican boxing channel.

Alec walked under the over hanging plasma television and gave it a good punch. The image stuttered and snapped back into full colored focus. The break room erupted into soft elated applause as a violent talk show suddenly appeared.

Max took out about half Alec's apple with one hostile chomp.

"Hey Wonderboy, Sketchy's been choking for about five minutes." With the murderous fruit in question, she gestured towards the blue faced staggering messenger.

Alec took Sketchy causally by the shoulder and spun him around. One sharp pull, hand over fist and Sketchy spit out a bite sized piece of death across the room.

"Better sweep that up boy-o." Normal said over his clipboard towards the gasping young man.

With a move too quick to see, Alec took back the apple from Max's hand. Owner of his snack again, he took another bite and winked at her.

She looked down at her bike and then sighed.

Sticking the fruit in his mouth, Alec put two hands on the handle bars and spun the pedals until the gears locked. Roughly kicking it the other way harder than an average human being was able, the chain clicked and snapped back into place, rattling nicely in the gears until he shoved his boot down on it.

He handed the bike back over to Max.

"Anything else I can do for ya?" He asked as he chewed.

"Yeah actually..." Max smiled.

Alec's smile withered at the sight of her pleasure.

She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "Ladies can."

Sketchy had righted himself and regained normal breathing. "Yup, been backed up all morning."

Alec stepped backwards, his gaze flickering towards the door and any obstacles that might be in his way. Max knew even if he blurred like there was a gun at his head he'd never make it out of here before she could stop him.

"The girls have using the guys room." Sketchy murmured in a mild panic. "The OC walked in on me and....and.... I think I heard her say something about a pantyliner."

"P-Panty what?" Alec backed up another step.

"Yeah, you get in there tiger," Normal gave him the thumbs up. "If anyone can do it, it's you."

A small explosion and some screams made them all turn towards the bathrooms.

Normal slammed down an armful of packages.

"If one of you miscreants flushed an H-bomb down the john again I swear to Buddha I'll shut this place down and you'll all be working the street asking for change--"

"Hey!" Max scanned the room frantically. "No no no... where'd he go?!"

Sketchy scratched the back of his head and looked at the apple core that was just settling in the trash. "I dunno, but he hauled ass."

Normal had arrived with a mop and a bucket. He dropped his voice to address her discreetly.

"You don't have a run for another half an hour, so get to it Missy Miss."

"But Alec--"


Max felt it would be better if she just took the mop and didn't shove the jagged broken handle into the nearest person like she wanted to.

Normal slapped a pair of very old and very pink rubber gloves into her arms.

Her jaw trembling in the simmer of rage, she happened to glance up at the low window of the bike messenger basement.

It was Alec.

It was Alec happily giving her the double thumbs up.

Max heard the mop and gloves hit the floor as she took off towards the door at a normal pace. She kept her eyes on the window, watching Alec quickly lose his grin and blur as fast as possible in the opposite direction. He wanted to race?

That was fine with her.

Someone was going to see the inside of a toilet today and it wasn't gonna be her.

Tags: da gen, dark angel humor, dark angel one shot, max & alec
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